Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
A Likely Story
Sigh. That feeling you get down at the pit of your stomach when you're forced to do something you hate? I've got that a lot.
Visual art has always been my forte, as has the written word. I want to be a writer, but no one cares about what I have to say. I want to get up and speak to people about what's right. No one cares.
I moved this weekend. My parents asked me several times, "Where are your friends?" and I couldn't answer. I had one person helping me move. One. She's my best friend and I love her dearly, but I couldn't help feeling abandoned by all the other people that I consider myself close to. Where were they? They knew I was moving. They didn't care either.
I have counseling today. Great. An hour with someone who is paid to care. Geez. I need to get out of here. I feel disjointed from the rest of the world. Will I find myself in Africa? Will I gain the experience I need in order to have people listen and care? Let's face it: No matter how much I know I'm right, no one will ever listen to me.
I have a deep yearning desire to change the world, but the world would rather stay the way it is. "All experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed," Says the Declaration of Independence. People don't want to change. I do. I want, more than anything, to be changed by the ever-growing influence of the Spirit upon me.
Why are some people so influential and I'm nothing?
Why am I so discouraged when I think about what God's doing in my life?
Visual art has always been my forte, as has the written word. I want to be a writer, but no one cares about what I have to say. I want to get up and speak to people about what's right. No one cares.
I moved this weekend. My parents asked me several times, "Where are your friends?" and I couldn't answer. I had one person helping me move. One. She's my best friend and I love her dearly, but I couldn't help feeling abandoned by all the other people that I consider myself close to. Where were they? They knew I was moving. They didn't care either.
I have counseling today. Great. An hour with someone who is paid to care. Geez. I need to get out of here. I feel disjointed from the rest of the world. Will I find myself in Africa? Will I gain the experience I need in order to have people listen and care? Let's face it: No matter how much I know I'm right, no one will ever listen to me.
I have a deep yearning desire to change the world, but the world would rather stay the way it is. "All experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed," Says the Declaration of Independence. People don't want to change. I do. I want, more than anything, to be changed by the ever-growing influence of the Spirit upon me.
Why are some people so influential and I'm nothing?
Why am I so discouraged when I think about what God's doing in my life?
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