Single Dads and why they rock.

For a long time, I’ve thought I would end up with a single dad. There are several reasons for this; I will enumerate a few.

1. I don’t want to have my own kids. For as long as I can remember, the thought of bearing children makes me cringe. And I only see more and more homeless children out there that need a loving home- why be selfish and want something of your own flesh when a chosen child will appreciate so much more your sacrifice?

2. I don’t need much attention. Single dads are wrapped up in their kid(s) and often a wife who is not the child’s mother feels left out. I, on the other hand, see the children as first priority. A single dad who remarries needs to make sure his children are happy through an uncomfortable situation. He has the greatest connection with them and a marriage often comes second. I’m okay with that.

3. Single dads are devoted. You will never see anyone as attached to their children as a man who had to raise them by himself. Especially if they have a daughter, single dads are so love with their kids that it spills over into every area of their life and that relationship becomes crucial to every other relationship that they have.

4. Single dads are mature. This is not true of dads who don’t have full custody. If they just have visitation or partial custody, they often live a wild life when their kids are not around. But dads who have to gauge every decision on how it will affect their family grow up, fast. The well-being of others is always in the forefront of their minds, and so they tend to be more respectful, more kind and considerate, and above all, more loving.

5. Most men DO want their own kids. But, as aforementioned, I don’t. This is the perfect compromise. Single dads already have their ‘flesh of my flesh’ and can often be satisfied with this. Women who feel that their marriage to a single dad is not complete until they have a child together are sadly mistaken. Having your own child is often too great a temptation for you to play favorites. Besides, if he sees you loving his children as your own, won’t he love and respect you even more?

Finally, single dads usually already know how the marriage thing works and it’s that much less stressful for everyone when they do remarry. They’re lower maintenance than your average newlywed, and since they’ve been forced to care for themselves and their children, they are usually more responsible with their resources. They also know the value of quality time.

So whether or not I end up with a single dad, those of you who have been wondering what my deal is with them now know. Christian single dads are God’s gift to independent women who still want to have a family.

Broken Fairy Tales--The Way I Remember It.

The more I think about it, the more I realize there were a lot of us up in that tower. It just felt so lonely. We all truly believed we were alone.

We each had our wishes, our dreams, our cross-stitch ideals and needlepoint fabrications. We hid our faces from ourselves and, unknowingly, from each other, the veils disguising what only one would ever see. The way I remember it, I was alone. One small bed in the center of the room, shrouded with sheer drapes. A vanity, with a small stool. A dresser and an end table with a vase of daisies. But there is only one such tower, so there must have been many more of us there, all believing, all alone.

I dreamt of the day I would escape the tower. That day would come and I would climb down, mount the Prince's horse, and ride into the sunset.

A few Princes came and they would start to help me out the window, but then run off and leave me dangling to pull myself back in.

Then HE came. With a ladder. He propped it up against my tower and climbed in, brushing the nonexistant dust off his broad shoulders. He was everything I had dreamed of. He was well-dressed, well-mannered, bold, honest, with his firm set of beliefs. He charmed me and I could not help but believe that he would rescue me and take me away to be his princess.

It was all going to plan- he even had a white horse waiting at the bottom. So I took his proffered hand and climbed down from my tall tower into his waiting arms. I wanted to give him a token, so I removed my veil and offered it to him. He took it graciously and helped me onto the glorious steed.

But as we rode off together, he elbowed me off callously and I fell into a spiny thicket. The thorns dug into my skin and tore my gown as I fought to free myself. I called after him. I cried his name. I wept bitterly.

My exposed and brazen face felt so naked now. I had given this to him, and he'd so harshly tossed me aside. If only I had my veil!

I picked up my skirt and let the torn pieces slide through my hands, seeing the jagged shards of my dreams slip through as well. My tear-stained eyes looked briefly in the direction he had gone and saw my veil caught on a branch. He'd let it go. But his horse had trampled it and the cloth was shredded and filthy. Still, it was my dignity.

I picked up the discarded veil and tried my best to cover my facing, knowing that I'd never be clean or beautiful enough for any other Prince that would come along. I yearned to be back in my ivory tower, but that was impossible now.

But as I gazed up into the window from which I had once looked down, I saw now the faces of so many others, peering across the plains, hoping for their Prince to come. What good could I do them? What comfort could I bring? I had lost all that would endear me to any other Prince. And now I couldn't even be rescued.