It's not fair.

It's really not.

My director and his wife (Dwight and Dorothy) went to the States to visit their kids. Their son has been dating a girl for a little over a month and they were excited to meet her. They liked her, their friends approved, everyone was happy.

Suddenly he decided to get married. In May. So they're staying in the US an extra week in order to attend their son's wedding. He's doing it in such a hurry so that they don't have to spend so much money to come back in a few months to attend.

It's all very well and good- except that I want to get married! It's not fair, I keep hearing in my head. They've been together a month. We've been together three. We know as well as they do that we're going to get married, except they get to do it now and I have to wait a flipping year and a half! I don't want to wait.

I was always one of those people that said, "Why are you in such a hurry? It's the rest of your life..." But now the tables have turned and I'm really having a hard time being happy for him.

Especially since my director and his wife have been telling us from the start that they're not fans of long engagements. More than six months, they say, is too long. And I understand- I feel it!

But I have no choice. I have to wait. None of my family can be here. None of my friends can visit. My church would be very hurt if I didn't marry there. These are all very important reasons for me to wait. But I'm hearing all this about Josh getting married- it doesn't help that before Caleb and I were even together, Dorothy said "Dating's not really allowed- but marriage is! So just get married and get it over with."

Don't think I don't want to. I'm fairly miserable waiting. Why do I have to wait? What is God trying to teach me by allowing me to go through this? Why, God, Why?!