Baudelaire's Paradox

When two Romantics enter into a form of courtship, a healthy balance can be achieved in their relationship. Since they both ascribe to the Romantic ideas of love, honor, dignity, chastity, and respect, they find that some specific boundaries are not even necessary, since they each realize that with these ideals they can follow more general guidelines and not fall into the traps that legalism can set for them.

However, when Romantics make mistakes, or cross lines previously undefined, they can err on the side of pragmatism. They attempt to set lines everywhere, and remain safely therein. But this, also, is legalism. It makes the Romantic uncomfortable. It challenges his ideas of right and wrong. The Romantic is free in his acknowledgment that some Biblically unaddressed issues are gray areas to be defined by culture. However, if culture tends toward unbiblical mores, the Romantic must forge his own path, especially since cultural norms are being redefined by ever-more-progressive thought.

So, the Romantic must investigate the Scriptural principles to which he has pledged his allegiance, and forthwith make his own judgments about where lines are to be set. Or reset. Or moved altogether.

And the beauty of the Romantic is in that he realizes that the lines are not standardized. Nor must they stay once they are set. They are mobile, fluid. For although there are definite “do not enter” regions, the areas surrounding those are gray indeed. What is acceptable for one might be sin to another. And inversely, what is verboten in one context is allowable and even encouraged in others.

But the Romantic is also attuned to the voice of God, and is frequently aware of the level of acceptability in his actions-- perhaps not in the moment, but definitely later when the Spirit convicts him of his sin and sets him again on the straight way. Therefore, being always cautious to bend to God's will, the Romantic becomes more free in his actions than those bound by specific rules. And since he can move the lines when he judges is right, acceptable, or necessary, he also is not more cautious than he must be.

However, with two Romantics in a relationship, things can become more complicated. Both agree that certain aspects of their relationship should be allowed to develop naturally and not be forced. But this idealism can sometimes cause them to shy away from taking action, since they are waiting for the perfect moment. And they both have imagined already what that perfect moment will be. So they wait, and wait, and wait, ever seeking that ideal time.

The Romantic can often feel disappointed that this world does not live up to its potential. This world is not the world of their dreams. It is not the realm of ideal forms. So sometimes, action must be taken. The perfect moment must be made, not discovered. Is it less romantic, then, for the moment sought to be contrived? Or is it more romantic, knowing that one party labored to create that small span of time in which they can live out, if only for brief seconds, their dreams?