A letter from me.

Dear every Christian I've ever known,

I suppose the only way I can start this letter is with an apology. I have not been a good person.

I imagine that this is really a very silly thing to say, since no one is good, except God. But as Christians, we really ought to try... and I haven't always been trying. Which is quite ridiculous, really, since I've been a Christian for over 20 years. It does get tired, though, always trying to be something that you can never be. Not on your own, that is. And not without considerable maturity, which is where I find myself sincerely lacking.

See, the thing is, most of the time I don't like you very much. In fact, I've downright sneered at you sometimes. And I'm sorry.

We're such fickle beings, aren't we? So hard to please. God welcomes us into His family, and then we start complaining about our brothers and sisters. We start bickering, competing, arguing. So many times I've seen the different denominations argue for so long that they lose all their points and just revert to a spiritual equivalent of sticking your finger in someone's face and chanting, “I'm not touching you!”

Sometimes you walk past me, and I roll my eyes behind your back. Sometimes you say something to me, and I would rather walk away than make conversation. I'm an elitist snob. And I don't love you the way Jesus tells me I should.

Really, I should be overjoyed that you are in the club with me. That you are one of the chosen. And even though we might have very little in common, we are joined by the strongest bond in the universe: the bond of our salvation.

And sure, God's working on you, too. He's certainly working on me. So why do I expect you to be perfect? Why do I hold you accountable for all the things I can't even achieve myself? Why do I judge you so harshly?

I wish I knew how to make it up to you. I wish I could undo all those times when I have had the wrong attitude about you. But I can't.

So for now, please accept my apology. I will try to do better in the future. I am sure that I will fail, and I'm sure that sometimes I'll drive you as crazy as you drive me. But the answer is not simply to stay away from each other. Because if I love God, then I will also love the things that He loves. And God not only loves, but gave Himself up for the Church.

So, how much more should I do the same?

You and I, dear Christian, will not always get along. We will have our spats, our debates, our complaints. But I rejoice to think of seeing you in Heaven, when we are both in our perfected form. I can't wait to spend eternity getting to know you, and learning to love you as God does.

Because, after all, He loves me too.

Until then,

Kate