I just spent a whole afternoon/evening with my best friend. She makes me feel great! I love our conversation, our kindredness, and how we communicate.
But now I'm alone in my room, feeling the loneliness creeping in. This is how I feel right now:
Washed-up.
Finished.
Forgotten.
Boring.
Messy.
Unwanted.
Average.
Denied.
Complicated.
Uninteresting.
Leftover.
See here's the thing: men have their neat little boxes through which they compartmentalize their lives. Relationship over? Oh, I'll just close that box.
It's not that easy for women.
Our relationships are not just a section of our lives-- they run through the entire fabric, a hot pink thread which adds to the mosaic composing who we are. Take out a relationship and you grab that thread and pull. Have you ever pulled a thread on a knit sweater? That's what it's like. The whole garment gets scrunched and disfigured just because that one piece was removed. And then you have to pull it back apart, smooth it out, fill in the gaps.
For a woman, putting your life back together and making yourself presentable after a breakup is ever so much more involved than just shutting a box and labeling it "Old Clothes".
1 comment:
Who are you?!? You are God's DAUGHTER!!!!! You are not forgotten and certainly not alone. Jesus is desperate to love you ALL THE TIME!!! By the way, my name is Sarah. I'm moving to San Diego with my hubby and our daughter in 13 days. That's how I found you, by searching San Diego bloggers, cuz I'm trying to find some people to connect to out there! Cuz we're moving from Pittsburgh and I know NO ONE!! Anyway, I've been reading your blog, and I love it; I can completely relate. All that to say, from what I've read, I think you're completely cool. So talk to me on here anytime :)
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