OLD

written Thursday March 04, 2009

I look in the mirror
Every day between classes.

Straighten my hair
Check my eyeliner
Make sure it's not smudged.

I try to look fresh for my students.
So I can fool them
Into thinking I'm not
A) depressed.
B) tired.
C) angry.
D) all of the above.

Today, I take another moment
to look.
The harsh fluorescent light is
not flattering,
for sure.

Deep, reddened lines accentuate my forehead.
Dark circles surround and ambush my eyes.
Dry lips feather out, disappearing into pale skin.
One deep wrinkle owns the space between my eyebrows.
My cheeks are mottled and discolored.

In short,
I look
old.

But with none of the
beauty that we see
in old Hollywood actresses.

No, I am the plain kind of old.
The kind of old of your second grade teacher.
Normal.  But old.

As I study my face,
wondering how I aged so fast
in only a few days,
I look at my pale lashes and
realize,
with horror:

I've forgotten to put on makeup.