sixty-nine days
eighteen hours
thirty-two minutes
thirty seconds
29
28
27....
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Stuck in the Middle
Tomorrow is my birthday.
I'm actually not at all excited. Turning 24 is scary, man. I know, I know, all you people older are thinking, "Oh kid, get over it."
But seriously. I am officially in my mid-twenties now. Statistically speaking, one-third of my life is over. And what have I done? Have I made any impact on the world?
None. There's nothing to be my legacy, and I'm terrified that it will always be that way.
I'm an over-achiever. I know stories of brilliant young people who accomplish so much and my need for perfection drives me on. I have spent 24 years on this planet, and have nothing to show for it but a few scars and a lot of heartache.
Maybe this melancholy has something to do with the depression I've been feeling for a couple of months now. I've been sick for quite some time. I've been diagnosed with stress ulcers, migraines, and who knows what else is hiding in my system. I'm at a thankless job where nothing I do ends up right.
I just can't wait to go home and start afresh.
I'm actually not at all excited. Turning 24 is scary, man. I know, I know, all you people older are thinking, "Oh kid, get over it."
But seriously. I am officially in my mid-twenties now. Statistically speaking, one-third of my life is over. And what have I done? Have I made any impact on the world?
None. There's nothing to be my legacy, and I'm terrified that it will always be that way.
I'm an over-achiever. I know stories of brilliant young people who accomplish so much and my need for perfection drives me on. I have spent 24 years on this planet, and have nothing to show for it but a few scars and a lot of heartache.
Maybe this melancholy has something to do with the depression I've been feeling for a couple of months now. I've been sick for quite some time. I've been diagnosed with stress ulcers, migraines, and who knows what else is hiding in my system. I'm at a thankless job where nothing I do ends up right.
I just can't wait to go home and start afresh.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
"Love is for fools wise enough to take a chance."
Kudos if you can tell me where that quote is from.
Now it's time for a little rant on my side.
We hear all sorts of junk about how women have these unrealistic ideas about shiny knights on white stallions. Personally I would settle for a brown-and-blond Belgian, but that's just me. The thing is, I never hear anybody talking about guys and THEIR unrealistic expectations.
A few weeks ago I was talking to a bunch of guys and they were discussing girls. I took a few things away from listening to them. Here are some of the things they said or implied that they wanted in a woman. She should:
-like the outdoors.
-enjoy long hiking/camping trips.
-be rustic/ able to survive on campfire meals and sleeping in tents.
-take good care of herself.
-be an amazing Godly woman.
-keep a good clean house.
-cook well.
-be willing to have lots of babies.
-play sports
-know how to dress well.
-be smart.
-be willing (and able) to follow her guy to the ends of the earth and back.
-be compassionate.
-be tough.
-look gorgeous all the time.
-love kids. (A good idea if she's expected to have babies all the time)
Is anyone else seeing any contradictions here?
Guys, I hate to break it to you, but no woman is going to look perfect all the time, even if she stays at home. If you drag her out into the wilderness for weeks at a time with no shower, no hair dryer, and no mirror, she's not going to be Barbie for you (Aside, notice how there never was a 'Camping Barbie'?).
You know how when you go camping after a few days you start looking like Grizzly Adams? Well, guess what? Women don't have a magical wand that makes them pretty. It takes a lot of time, effort, and Product (a word most women know well).
Not to mention that women who spend so much time on looking pretty are usually fairly shallow in other aspects.
It also seems like you're requiring a lot of one woman. Someone to be tough AND compassionate? Play sports AND have lots of babies? And how's she supposed to jump at all these camping trips with all these kids in tow?
Seriously. Does this mean all us REAL women get shafted for the dream of a Trophy wife? What happens when we don't live up to these expectations? What if we can't be a trophy?
I mean, really, good luck finding the woman that fits all those requirements. Call me when you're done fantasizing and you're ready for an adult relationship.
Now it's time for a little rant on my side.
We hear all sorts of junk about how women have these unrealistic ideas about shiny knights on white stallions. Personally I would settle for a brown-and-blond Belgian, but that's just me. The thing is, I never hear anybody talking about guys and THEIR unrealistic expectations.
A few weeks ago I was talking to a bunch of guys and they were discussing girls. I took a few things away from listening to them. Here are some of the things they said or implied that they wanted in a woman. She should:
-like the outdoors.
-enjoy long hiking/camping trips.
-be rustic/ able to survive on campfire meals and sleeping in tents.
-take good care of herself.
-be an amazing Godly woman.
-keep a good clean house.
-cook well.
-be willing to have lots of babies.
-play sports
-know how to dress well.
-be smart.
-be willing (and able) to follow her guy to the ends of the earth and back.
-be compassionate.
-be tough.
-look gorgeous all the time.
-love kids. (A good idea if she's expected to have babies all the time)
Is anyone else seeing any contradictions here?
Guys, I hate to break it to you, but no woman is going to look perfect all the time, even if she stays at home. If you drag her out into the wilderness for weeks at a time with no shower, no hair dryer, and no mirror, she's not going to be Barbie for you (Aside, notice how there never was a 'Camping Barbie'?).
You know how when you go camping after a few days you start looking like Grizzly Adams? Well, guess what? Women don't have a magical wand that makes them pretty. It takes a lot of time, effort, and Product (a word most women know well).
Not to mention that women who spend so much time on looking pretty are usually fairly shallow in other aspects.
It also seems like you're requiring a lot of one woman. Someone to be tough AND compassionate? Play sports AND have lots of babies? And how's she supposed to jump at all these camping trips with all these kids in tow?
Seriously. Does this mean all us REAL women get shafted for the dream of a Trophy wife? What happens when we don't live up to these expectations? What if we can't be a trophy?
I mean, really, good luck finding the woman that fits all those requirements. Call me when you're done fantasizing and you're ready for an adult relationship.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Why Sudan Needs Our Prayers
Since I live in Nairobi, I have a lot of friends going in and out of Sudan. Since it's such a rough field, they go in for 3 or 4 months at a time and then come out for a break for like two weeks. Recently, several of my friends have been in Nairobi for a month or more.
A couple of my friends work in a town called Abwong, which is in the far southern part of the country. This town is populated mainly by two tribes, called the Dinka and the Nuer. The Dinka are more pastoralists, keeping lots of cattle, and the Nuer are farmers. They live with a strained relationship, since sometimes the Dinka's cattle get loose and trample the Nuer's crops.
Lately, the Dinka have been accusing the Nuer of cattle raiding. Suddenly in the last few weeks, fighting has erupted between the two tribes and they've moved from spearing each other to hauling out their automatic weapons, remnants of the still-simmering civil war that has torn through the country for the last 20 years.
In the last 24 hours, 7 people have been killed and many more injured. Our missionary compound is right on the border between the two tribes, so all the missionaries there could be in possible danger (even though they are not the targets of the fighting).
Some of the guys here that are still in town are scheduled to fly into Sudan next week. They would stop first in Malakal, which is a rather large base, and then head on to Abwong. But for now, it looks like they will be stuck in Malakal well into the foreseeable future.
We also have some Ethiopian missionaries already in Abwong. They are reporting the violence, and our Sudan director is considering whether or not to evacuate them.
PLEASE pray for Sudan. There is a presidential election this year, which could really spawn some ugliness, and we all know about the genocide in Darfur. This is a country that needs God!
A couple of my friends work in a town called Abwong, which is in the far southern part of the country. This town is populated mainly by two tribes, called the Dinka and the Nuer. The Dinka are more pastoralists, keeping lots of cattle, and the Nuer are farmers. They live with a strained relationship, since sometimes the Dinka's cattle get loose and trample the Nuer's crops.
Lately, the Dinka have been accusing the Nuer of cattle raiding. Suddenly in the last few weeks, fighting has erupted between the two tribes and they've moved from spearing each other to hauling out their automatic weapons, remnants of the still-simmering civil war that has torn through the country for the last 20 years.
In the last 24 hours, 7 people have been killed and many more injured. Our missionary compound is right on the border between the two tribes, so all the missionaries there could be in possible danger (even though they are not the targets of the fighting).
Some of the guys here that are still in town are scheduled to fly into Sudan next week. They would stop first in Malakal, which is a rather large base, and then head on to Abwong. But for now, it looks like they will be stuck in Malakal well into the foreseeable future.
We also have some Ethiopian missionaries already in Abwong. They are reporting the violence, and our Sudan director is considering whether or not to evacuate them.
PLEASE pray for Sudan. There is a presidential election this year, which could really spawn some ugliness, and we all know about the genocide in Darfur. This is a country that needs God!
Monday, January 19, 2009
quote
“I didn’t send you to Africa for the sake of the heathen. I sent you to Africa for My sake. They deserved hell but I love them and I endured the agonies of hell for them. I didn’t send you out there for them. I sent you out there for Me. Do I not deserve the reward of My suffering? Don't I deserve those for whom I died?” -God.
From a sermon by Paris Reidhead, former SIM and CMA missionary in Sudan
From a sermon by Paris Reidhead, former SIM and CMA missionary in Sudan
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Burnt Toast and Yesterday's Coffee
Sometimes the best things about life are the small ones.
I was waiting to post this month, waiting for something really amazingly good. Instead, though, I've decided to post 25 random things about myself and where I am right now in life. It's an idea I got from Facebook.
25 random things:
1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is actually a pretty good movie.
2. I like it when I have good ideas. It makes me feel important.
3. I deeply respect all the guys I've met that are missionaries in Sudan.
4. The Office is funny, but kind of annoying.
5. 1 Peter 2: 16-17 is my theme verse for this year.
6. I want to go back to school.
7. About every nine months, I get severely depressed and I have to change whatever it is I'm doing so that I regain my sanity.
8. I'm lonely.
9. God is doing amazing things in my life, but sometimes I wish I had a roadmap.
10. I'm tired about 95% of the time.
11. I'm considering getting an Ad car when I go home so I don't have to pay for one.
12. I like leading, but I have being in charge. What's up with that?
13. I wear pink now.
14. Sometimes I think my boss hates me. Then again, sometimes I think she hates everyone.
15. I don't like it when my guy friends start dating. It makes me feel like I'm in a long narrow room where the walls are slowly closing in on me.
16. I actually am not terribly opposed to being single for the rest of my life. I'm just opposed to the way I know I'll get treated if I do.
17. The fact that most of these random thoughts start with "I" doesn't make me self-centered. Just introspective.
18. Yesterday, I contemplated the phrase "Bored to Death" with an intensity that scared me.
19. Since coming to Kenya, my favorite thing is an apple. No, really.
20. Generally, I think no guy would ever go for me. Is that bad? The thing is, most guys I would go for really wouldn't go for me. So it's the truth, mostly.
21. Listening to my roommate complain about stuff all the time but never do anything about it had given me a stress ulcer which I am now forced to take pills to subdue.
22. I quit caffeine. A week later, a package arrived for me with Starbucks coffee inside.
23. I can't eat tomatoes anymore. It sucks. Where am I supposed to get my nutrients?
24. I'm turning 24 soon, and it kind of scares me.
25. I'm God's favorite.
I was waiting to post this month, waiting for something really amazingly good. Instead, though, I've decided to post 25 random things about myself and where I am right now in life. It's an idea I got from Facebook.
25 random things:
1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is actually a pretty good movie.
2. I like it when I have good ideas. It makes me feel important.
3. I deeply respect all the guys I've met that are missionaries in Sudan.
4. The Office is funny, but kind of annoying.
5. 1 Peter 2: 16-17 is my theme verse for this year.
6. I want to go back to school.
7. About every nine months, I get severely depressed and I have to change whatever it is I'm doing so that I regain my sanity.
8. I'm lonely.
9. God is doing amazing things in my life, but sometimes I wish I had a roadmap.
10. I'm tired about 95% of the time.
11. I'm considering getting an Ad car when I go home so I don't have to pay for one.
12. I like leading, but I have being in charge. What's up with that?
13. I wear pink now.
14. Sometimes I think my boss hates me. Then again, sometimes I think she hates everyone.
15. I don't like it when my guy friends start dating. It makes me feel like I'm in a long narrow room where the walls are slowly closing in on me.
16. I actually am not terribly opposed to being single for the rest of my life. I'm just opposed to the way I know I'll get treated if I do.
17. The fact that most of these random thoughts start with "I" doesn't make me self-centered. Just introspective.
18. Yesterday, I contemplated the phrase "Bored to Death" with an intensity that scared me.
19. Since coming to Kenya, my favorite thing is an apple. No, really.
20. Generally, I think no guy would ever go for me. Is that bad? The thing is, most guys I would go for really wouldn't go for me. So it's the truth, mostly.
21. Listening to my roommate complain about stuff all the time but never do anything about it had given me a stress ulcer which I am now forced to take pills to subdue.
22. I quit caffeine. A week later, a package arrived for me with Starbucks coffee inside.
23. I can't eat tomatoes anymore. It sucks. Where am I supposed to get my nutrients?
24. I'm turning 24 soon, and it kind of scares me.
25. I'm God's favorite.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)