Jesus in his eyes

I always laughed to myself at how awkward he is. It surprised me to learn that he is a professor at a theological institute- he doesn't seem to do well in front of crowds.

He always stutters over his words, he goes off on rabbit trails, and takes forever to do his job when he is elder of the week (his job being greeting the visitors, taking prayer requests, leading the prayer time, and reading the Scripture passage for the day).

He's about the most attractive man I ever met. He's Indian (the real kind- from India) and his face just exudes intelligence. He's lean and conservatively built. I had a minor crush on him from the moment I saw him.

And then I saw his wife. It felt a bit like that Alanis Morrisette song "Ironic". But she was gorgeous too. She's kind and graceful and perfect. The two of them have to be the most attractive couple in the world. Now I have what I call a "couples crush" on them- couples that you see and think I want to be them someday.

But yesterday, as he was looking around for new people, our eyes locked for a moment. I felt a bit guilty looking at him but I held his gaze. That moment seemed an eternity. And I saw Jesus.

I've never seen Jesus so much in someone. It was as if I were staring right through Hash Gudka and looking at his inner being. He was entirely transparent. I saw only Jesus.

It was like that Michael Card song "Forgiving Eyes" about the woman caught in adultery.
"In His eyes so gentle I could see
A father and a brother and a son
Just as I saw Him,
The hope I had lost
Became born again
I was not hopeless!
Though I'd been lost
Now I felt I was found
When He looked at me
With His forgiving eyes"

I was suddenly convicted for laughing at Hash's awkwardness. I realized, if Almighty God lived so completely within me, if He was so close to the surface that whenever people looked at me they saw Him, I'd be awkward too!

We talk about having God in our hearts, but I'd rather have Him in my eyes, under my skin, behind my teeth, oozing out under my finger nails. I don't want to keep Him locked in my heart-box anymore. I want to let God flow through my veins so that whenever I look at someone, or say something, or do something, or think, He leaks out.

I want to leak Jesus.