Sunday, September 06, 2009

Who is being pursued?

The other day I was talking to my mom and she was saying how she was going through a dry spell in her spiritual walk. Without even thinking, I said, "Well, you get used to that." And my mom and I stood there staring at each other, both shocked. Finally she said, "But I don't want to get used to it." And I wondered why I had said it.

People love to liken our relationship with God to that of a lover. They use all the lover terms. They say, "God is pursuing you," and girls talk about going on dates with God. Think of all the various phrases they use to refer to God loving you. The volume is immense.

But here's the difference:

In a real relationship (that is, one between two humans), both have to play some part. But in my God relationship, I'm the one who has to do all the work.

If I did have a lover, or at least some interested party, he would call me. He would say, "Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. How are you?" He would keep me accountable. He would care about what's going on in my life. He would make dates with me. He would tell me how wonderful he thinks I am. He would say things like, "When you smile and gently bite the tip of your finger, it makes me really want to kiss you."

And he would check up on me. He would ask why I didn't call. To quote a movie, "If a guy really likes you, he's going to make it happen, no matter what it takes."

And there's where the analogy falls apart.

If God was a lover, He would call me. He would see how I'm doing. He would invite me to parties with him and text me messages like, "I'm thinking about you." But He doesn't.

In this relationship, I end up having to do all the work. It feels like the worst lover ever: I have to make time for him. I have to call him. I have to arrange dates. Where do we get these ideas of a godly man being the one who pursues the woman when it feels like God is not even pursuing me?

I mean, if I were to take the analogy of God as a lover seriously, men would be off the hook. They'd never have to call or ask a girl out or plan a date. They'd just sit around expecting her to contact them at least once a day. Seems like the opposite of a pursuer to me.

If a human treated you like this, you'd dump him on the spot. But when it seems like God is doing it, it's somehow OK?

If God really wants me, why doesn't He chase after me? Why do I have to be the one putting all the effort into this relationship? And for what benefit?

So often I hear people say, "If God seems far away, guess who moved," as if God is some static being. But a pursuer doesn't just stand there waiting for his love to come running back to him.

So here it is:

God, no one else seems to want me. If you do, you're going to have to chase me down. Because I'm tired of running after you.

1 comment:

A-ron said...

I'm fairly certain that God's relationship as a lover is reserved mostly (if not entirely) for the Church as a whole along with the nation/people of Israel, but not for individuals. His personal relationship with us as Christians is described as that of a father with his children.
If you feel that He isn't involved in the relationship, you should consider why that is and what needs to change. I know there have been many times when I've felt that God isn't close and doesn't really care. But feeling does not dictate truth. Looking back, I know He is there, was there, and always will be there. I guess sometimes it just comes down to finding oneself crying out in a place of desperation before God reveals such things to us, at least that's what I'm discovering. It's not easy, that's for sure. But part of faith is learning to trust that when He says He cares about us and is with us, He really means it. The difficulty, hardship, and loneliness is all part of the Christian life, part of the testing to show ourselves pure and make us stronger. If anyone understood that through experience, Christ did.