What Women... Like?

The whole thing started because of camping.

No, really.

See, my K.i.S.A. loves camping. And hiking. And generally being out in nature. And don't get me wrong, I love it too. A good camping trip in the desert is often exactly what I need after a long stretch of city noise and work issues. I enjoy a decent hike, and I love trees, rivers... all that natural stuff.

But when my K.i.S.A. and I talk about camping, I realized we are often talking about very different things. I like running water and bathrooms and mini cooking stoves attached to bottles of propane. He likes "roughing it" with the bare necessities, not washing for days on end, and sleeping in the dirt. Or something.

We had a discussion the other day about camping, and I explained to him that camping is a very different experience for men and women on a foundational level.

Because when men go camping, they feel like they're getting "back" to the way things should be. Rough. Wild. Dirty. Uncivilized.

When women go camping, they are getting away from civilization to remind themselves why they like it so much. Women like being clean, organized, and eating hot food occasionally (not made mostly of Spam, if possible). If I go one full day without a shower, I am grossing myself out by the end of the day and the first thing I do in the morning is wash and groom.

Frankly, women put a lot of effort into their appearance. And we take a lot of maintenance. Even we "low-maintenance" girls put some serious time into making ourselves presentable every day.

So when a woman goes camping out in "nature", she's giving all that up for a time. Things she feels need to happen, things that are "natural" to her, she's sacrificing for the sake, usually, of some man who needs to get back in touch with his wild side.

But after a couple of days of this, a woman tires of sand in her sleeping bag and sore feet and hard ground and that lovely pheromonal aroma of body odor. She wants to be clean. She wants a hot meal and a warm bed.

All of this is true, without even mentioning the physiological issues incumbent in camping. Using the bathroom, for instance... a very different set of problems for women, who can't just go pee on the nearest tree. Not without sacrificing their dignity, anyway.
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So we had this conversation and then moved on to talking about other things...

But later that night as we wound down the day, the question came up, "What do women like?" I found the first thing out of my mouth was "Wild men."

And then the conversation moved on to how men like women who are pure, coy, mousy, and sexually inexperienced, all for the sake of protecting their own reproductive chances in society.

When I said "wild men," I did not mean men who have been behaving wildly, who have been promiscuous, or who are more sexually experienced than the women they pursue.

I meant men who enjoy being in the wild. Men who are tough, who can take care of themselves (and of their women too). Men who could go kill and prepare a deer for dinner if necessary. Men who are capable. Scruffy. Scoundrels.

The conversation moved on again, but later I realized that there's an important caveat which I neglected to mention. It's this: women like men who can be that wild-natured Grizzly Adams, but who are not always that way.

Women like men who groom themselves. Who put some effort into looking presentable. Men who, for lack of a better phrase, act civilized. Men who pretend to be urbane and sophisticated.

We understand your need to escape back into the wild occasionally. We realize that sometimes you feel the need to kill something (which is why professional sports are so great for society, but that's another whole post). But we also like you to be kind. Tender. Gentle. Clean.

I know that you are really "Wild at Heart". But please understand also, that I'm not.