Movers and Shakers

I've observed something in the last few days that makes me wonder about the different types of people that are out there.

See, I'm an extremely introspective and analytical person. I'm constantly examining my feelings and convictions, seeing problems, making minor adjustments, changing things, moving priorities around, praying, talking, learning. I have many friends that are this way as well. We talk through our issues, vent to each other, pray together. And by having these "dealing" sessions, we actively work to better ourselves and to deal with all our relationships healthily.

But recently I realized that there is an entirely different kind of person out there.

This type of person views his life objectively, as if he were an outside observer. He watches his actions and behaviors and sees them as symptoms of his emotional state. And he makes his decisions based on the way he observes himself behaving. I think it goes something like this:

"Oh, I'm noticing that I'm not calling or spending as much time with that particular friend anymore. That's interesting. I wonder why not? Oh well. I trust my behavior. Clearly, if I'm not spending time with him, I must not be interested in his friendship anymore. I guess I won't hang out with him."

The Observer, as we'll call him, lets his actions show him how he feels, and then allows events to progress depending on his natural behavior.

The Changer, that is, people like me, think differently. We realize more deeply that our behaviors can affect our feelings, and that we're not victims of our emotions. We are the people who intentionally pursue friendships. Instead of backing off from a friendship because we see our behavior as indicating a loss of interest, we will change things to purposely spend more time with that person.

"Oh, I'm noticing that I'm not calling or spending as much time with that particular friend anymore. I should give him a call and see if he wants to hang out."

Now, I'm not saying that one pattern of behavior is right and the other is wrong. I mean, I don't even really understand the Observer's mind or how he thinks. I think the emphasis is different. The Changer sees emotions changing, and changes behaviors to reflect this. The Observer sees behaviors changing and allows that pattern to continue, assuming that the behaviors are indicators of changing emotions.

The Observer has less control over his life, his actions, and his emotions and he lives as a victim to the waxing and waning tides of feeling. He doesn't seem to realize that even if the emotion isn't there, he CAN change his behavior.

After all, this is why we have rituals of faith... things like communion, church on Sundays, Lent, daily devotions, prayer. These things do not save us, but they do give us something to hold on to when our faith wanes, which it definitely will. We keep doing the things that we've been taught, because action builds and bolsters our faith, just as faith inevitably results in action.